you know sometimes all you can do is stand around and watch when shit hits the fan. when you get hurt and stabbed and stomped on? or you watch as your friend gets hurt by someone else and all you can do is say, i wish i was there. its true, i wish i was there, to beat the living crap outta her, but i know it doesnt help much saying it. because i've been there. cause i know you still feel like shit, and theres nothing no one can do about it, except maybe her, but why the fuck do you wanna count on her when all shes put you through is pain and anger? you know you can always lean on us. you know you can always count on us to pick you up when you stumble, but on our part, we dont wanna see you hurt yourself again and again. i know they say, whats a lesson learnt without the lesson? but this lesson has been taught one too many times, and enough is enough, because if you hurt again, i will hurt somebody.truth doesnt make a sound.
meet my classmates! i know some of them look stupid.. well, ohk they are stupid.
speaking of irritating people.. i hate it when people list all the things they LIKE and do NOT like. like on their friendster page/blog etc. likeeee.. ha ha ha. i'd probably just irritate you by doing the things you do NOT like. like.. if you say. i hate backstabbers then i'll purposely become your friend take a knife and stab you in the back, or maybe the face(literally), maybe you'll look better? the most overuseddddddd phrase on the 'i-hate-you-list's gotta be liars&backstabbers. like hellooooo? say it with me.. thesaurus! i dont get it seriously, i mean, isnt that kinda thing obvious&redundant? unless you say you'd really like a selfish ignorant phony friend then hello can i be your friend?
IDA scott taylor wrote: do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone, and do not be troubled about the future, for it has yet to come. live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering.
change comes like a little wind that ruffles the curtains at dawn, and it comes like the stealthy perfume of wildflowers hidden in the grass.
THE SONG ON MY BLOG IS NOT WORKINGGGG! IM GONNA CHANGE IT SOON CAUSE I WANT IT TO IRRITATE YOU ASSHOLES WHO FREQUENTLY COME TO MY WEBPAGE. HAHA SUCKERS. dont hate me.
sometimes i think i talk too much rubbish. like im not serious. at all! and its not that i dont wanna not talk rubbish but prefer not to not talk rubbish but just not like to be serious. feel me? aiya shit i know you dont get me. but anyways. i dont think its hereditary. cause my parents are NOT like that. or at least i dont think so.
you know.. sometimes.. i think that god put me here to play a game, you know like those we play in the arcades, where you open a door then something creepy/ugly/uglyx2/baboon-ass looking pops out and gives you the shock of your life you might die of a heart attack right on the spot. yeah sometimes i feel so. like when i turn around and have my back on the people i love, everyone will turn into fugly looking monsters and try to kill me. maybe i just think too much. or maybe it really is real! so are you a fugly looking monster behind the computer? i hope so cause i wanna take a picture with you as proof to why god cant send me to hell.
& i figured why people get so emotional (thats 'emo' in full form for any stupid person out there). i think they just hate themselves/their life so they bitch about it so much so people can pity them and then they can feel good about themselves. though i dont really pity them i laugh at them. might sound mean but.. HAHA DONT YOU THINK ITS FUNNY! QUOTE '-i hate my life, this ish the worst days of mi life ever' - person shall not be named to respect privacy. HAHAHA do i look like the type of person who respects someone elses privacy anyway? HAHA YES I DO. haha. its funny cause what they do all day long is MOPE MOPE SOB SOB, and when they get home they can blog about their pathetic lives and how they cannot get the person they claim they will forever love. YAY. -.- he dont like you! GET OVER IT.
& whats with people with blogging about how much thay miss things? like.. I MISSS..
#1 my ugly dog, how i wish i can hug him all day long and even when he poops i wish that he poops on my ugly face to cover my hideous being up. ):
#2 the way things used to be (' those days where we'd spendsthe night talking 'crapsssssss' to each others. teeheee. so miss them hell lots lor... ') [ classic ]
#3 OH MY SECONDARY SCHOOL LIFEEE. [ you could always have failed your exams and relive sec school days till your 30 what, WHY BLOG ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU MISS IT DAMMIT! ]
#4 HIM [ HAHAHA i think this is the funniest, LIKE HOW PEOPLE WANNA HIDE WHO THEY LIKE AND JUST USE THE TERMS HE/HIM/IT/DUMBSHIT ]
do you get the whole 'IMYYYYYY' scenario? cause i do NOT! if you're one of em people can you tell me? i need to know. ): *gives pityful/dying of food face 0.0*
can feel how much anger i have in me? i think if i were to write a song about my life it'll all be about how much i laugh at people in the streets and i'd be sent to hell at the end of the day. someone save me from myself.
"there is a tide in the affairs of men. which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune. but omitted, and the voyage of their life is bound in shallows and miseries. on such a full sea are we now afloat, and we must take the current when it serves -- or lose the ventures before us." - william shakespeare. - life is short and opportunities are rare, & we have to be vigilant in protecting them. & not only the opportunities to succeed but the opportunity to laugh, to see the enchantment in the world, & to live.because life doenst owe us anything, but i think we owe something to the world. now is the time for us to shine. the time when our dreams are within reach& possibilities vast, now is the time for all of us to become the people we've always dreamed of being. this is your world, you're here. you matter. the world is waiting.
i think saturdays at zouk are gonna be the bomb! we met this dude from? eh i dunno where la, but i know his filllllllllthy rich. yeah when i mean filthy i mean filthy, RICH! haha he bought all of us shots and drinks. but, thanks to my parents, i couldnt drink. THANKS ALOT AH. MAKE ME MISS OUT ON THE GOOD SHIT. ohk. there are alot more pictures but i look like a monkey so im not posting any of it. HAHA try bribing me!its a monday, and i have no school, ohk actually i did but i decided not to go. the thought of travelling a half hour to school and back makes me all jelly and lazy. so hello to bumming on an uber hott day. well at least i did bring mr chubbs down for his stinking walk. well im really really bored, if you could tell cause im not talking rubbish or being an emo banana or chilling with my dez/ji/kt/carm/kpbaby tho i dont chill with him i just irritate him. so heres something i found under your grannys skirt.
Name: Jelly Is Wob-Bly tho many just call me bridget. Its really in my IC. i swear.
Birthday: 09081989 yeah yeah the whole SG celebrates with me. whatever.
Birthplace: in a pineapple under the sea
Current Location: Singapore
Eye Color: maroon, you know like maroon 5?
Hair Color: black. haha & no i have not emo hair!
Height: 197 although sometimes i feel much much taller!
Right Handed or Left Handed: righty tighty
Your Heritage: chinesee?
The Shoes You Wore Today: i wasnt even out but i brought kp down and i was barefooted. HAHA SLIPPERS LA ASK FOR WHAT.
Your Weakness: food&ONE TREE HILL&whatever makes me happy.
Your Fears: being left behind
Your Perfect Pizza: hawaiian with lotsa cheese&apples&pines! do u like cheeseee&apples&pines?
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: to major in slacking tho i know i've already achieved that. study hard la duh. everyone wants to get em grades!
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: 'HAHAHA' & 'yeah'or'ohk' when i have absolutely nothing to say anymore, i knoww, total conversation killers!
Thoughts First Waking Up: needsssss more sleep
Your Best Physical Feature: i hate it when theres a black out and i have to climb 8 stories up! you know? when its all dark and scary and raining and where most gang rapes/robberies/kidnapping/murders happen?
Your Bedtime: haha i never sleep but that would contradict with the question THOUGHTS FIRST WAKING UP. so i have thoughts when i wake up, but i dont sleep.
Your Most Missed Memory: being on the field, feeling the heat&the pressure.
Pepsi or Coke: COKKEEEEEEE
MacDonalds or Burger King: RONALD MAKES IT MAGIC! but i dont deny i love em mushroom swiss!
Single or Group Dates: i dont date because... THERES A FUCKING COCKRAOCH FLYING AROUND.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: LIPton Ice tea!
Chocolate or Vanilla: why isnt strawberry and option? is it not as popular somehow? cause i really prefer strawberry.
Cappuccino or Coffee: tea! i think it should be one of the choices.
Do you Smoke: HAHA ew.
Do you Swear: haha no i dont fucking swear and i feel utter fucking disgust to people who fucking swear.
Do you Sing: No? but i know you do! during the 7thmonth on the lunar calendar! ive been watching youu...
Do you Shower Daily: obviously! i bathe about 7-8 times a day.
Have you Been in Love: HAHA, love suxoorrzx. teehee
Do you want to go to College: HAHA, some of my friends would die for it.
Do you want to get Married: no, i wanna die early.
Do you belive in yourself: Yes, i think. do you wanna hear my emo translation of how people dont believe in themseleves? people dont believe in themself ):
Do you get Motion Sickness: i havent sat a plane in 17 years!
Do you think you are Attractive: kp loves me so mabbe i look like a cat. meoow!
Are you a Health Freak: HAHA. NO. i eat all sorts of rubbish.
Do you get along with your Parents: yes very muccccch!
Do you like Thunderstorms: yeah. gives me a reason to sleep the day away.
Do you play an Instrument: YEH I DO! i play seven hundred& seventy-seven instruments
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: wanna ask me if i got drunk?
In the past month have you Smoked: EW I SAID I DIDNT SMOKE RIGHT.
In the past month have you been on Drugs: yeah i popped a few panadols!
In the past month have you gone on a Date: i told you i didnt date either. is this survehh stupid cause it likes asking me repeated questions.
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: town! and i can tell you that people dress funny! some drown themselves in make up and some come in their PJs. some wear 8 layers of clothes like singapore is located far far far far far farr from the equator. whats wrong with singaporeans?
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: cant remember. i eat so much!
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: YEAH I L-O-V-E SUSHI! HEEHEEEE
In the past month have you been on Stage: haha ehh. nope.
In the past month have you been Dumped: D'OH.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: i cant remember when i've seen the sun for 12 hours.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: yeah almost everyday!
Ever been Drunk: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. you can ask my friends.
Ever been called a Tease: i know peyton has!
Ever been Beaten up: HAHA nope. i would like to see someone get beat tho. im not a saddist. im not a saddist. i did not just repeat that. i did not just repeat that.
Ever Shoplifted: everyday
How do you want to Die: in my stinking sleep but i dont wanna be stinky
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: IDK!
What country would you most like to Visit: EGYPT! dont ask me why eh.
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: yellow but it had better not be fake!
Favourite Hair Color: brown like seth!
Short or Long Hair: LIKE SETH LIKE SETH LIKE SETH. or if your brad pitt den screw the seth image!
Height: much taller than i am!
Weight: please be overweight.
Best Clothing Style: please look like a jackass
Number of Drugs I have taken: a hell lot. like 10948230948 i think. mabbe more.
Number of CDs I own: SEE DEES? CDS NO MORE! DOWNLOADING!
Number of Piercings: hundred and 4, all on my face. you can imagine how i look like. not true to the pic above ^
Number of Tattoos: when im not wearing anything youd think im wearing a leotard. HAHA.
Number of things in my Past I Regret: when i told god i'd give up anything for you.
& all i need to know is that im something you'll be missing. i'd never lie to you, unless i had to i'll do what i got to, but the truth, is you could slit my throat. and with my one last gasping breath i'd apologise, for bleeding on your shirt. if only you knew half as much as you pretend to.
move a little closer, hold me tighter, i'll stay if you're gonna keep me in line.
is it possible to meet 138372432 people in a day? i think so! i think my day was quite a fulfilling one, even when i spent half of it pigging out being a couch potatoeeee on my sofa. basically i was attempting to get a tan from the heat my laptop was producing. and some from the tv too of course. but.. haha it didnt work.
so i was quite depressed then i proceeded to meet dez and ji and viknesh (to eat of course) which led to an unexpected coincidental surprising unforseen unintentional unplanned unintended fortuitous & accidental meeting of mr adi danial. mm yeah.
soon afterrr.. i met kevin yonnshenn kathe herman & liren. this was arranged & deliberate. its been a long time since i've seen kevvinn & yonnshen! & i can say kevin changed quite abit! his head doesnt look that big anymore tho i can say if i plant an angsana tree in his hair i wouldnt be able to see it still. and yonnshenn still looks fine as ever!
anyways, ji & viknesh had to go for their 'training' HAHA speaking of....... i think that dragon boat is.. 1) a brainless sport. 2) a brainless sport.. 3) a sport which doesnt require more than 1/10th of your brains.. 4) lame.. cause the guys train(extreemely harddd, sometimes even choke/try to kill themselves by excessive non-stop sessions of beating themselves up in the wee hours of the morning) just to row a boat. why row when you can always buy a motor? 5) a brainless sport. OHK. i think the only plus point about it is that you'll look good. BODY WISE. but if you dont have the face then.. WHY WASTE YOUR TIME. HAHAHA. like dez would say.. male bimbos! HAH NO OFFENCE TO MY DEAR DEAR FRIENDS. i still love you none the less. even when i think that you're thinking with your kukuteh, i love euux. i ♥ you. TEEHEEEHEEEE
alright where was i.. oh yehh, so we left dez and sherie, i went to meet adi, AGAIN, this time intentionally, because... well i dont know. he's depressed. was supposed to go home together but... i went to meet carmen demin and ken instead. HAHA. CAUSE DEMIN DROVEEEE. HAHA AND HE WANTED THE NDP TICKETS SO MUCH HE SED HE'D DROVE ME ANYWHERE BUT WHEN KEN&I WANTED TO GO SEE PROSTITUTES HE DIDNT WANNA DRIVE US THERE. and ken is scared of cockroaches. HA HA HA!! GAY! mabbe demin is intimidated by prostitutes? we'll never know!
SOO. i met 12 people today. im so proud of myself. (:
ohk. soo. i dont think i eat veeeeehhhhhhhhhh slowly leh. ohk. i think my max speed is like.. 1 bite a minute? so if i take 7 bites it'd be 7 mins. but thats average. i think sometimes i eat faster? when people dont stare at me and bugg me to eat faster. & i dig left handed people. dont you think the way they do stuff is so opposite and retarded you'd feel like smacking them on the head. and im right handed so dont you think i should get a left handed boyfriend because the opposites attract? but this way, dont you think god would have made as many left hand people as right handed people? this way there'll be a perfect balance in the human cycle of repeated correct handed people. so mabbe all girls should be right handed and guys should be left handed. but then i wouldnt know what would happen if a girl falls for a girl. i think god would be damn stressed out on how to make the next generation balanced. mabbe our next generation would all be bi-handed(you know like bi-lingual?)/double-handed/tripple-handed. you know something? i have no idea what im talking about.
i hope to god i'd figure out whats wrong.
imagine you are holding on to a cup, and someone's pouring hot water. if feels good intially, then the water starts to overflow, then you have two choices, let go, or continue holding. its exactly like a relationship.
you should always let go of something you think is not worth holding onto. and if it comes back and chases you like hell then maybe it was meant to be. but if it doesnt then you'd know that it wasnt even good to begin with. but then again. if you come back, i'd be way ahead. cause i know tears will fall and hearts will break.
someone said to me 'dont ever turn back to regret like we all did. because this, it's not worth regretting. its gonna be okay. its alright to fall and hurt but dont forget to learn from them. because in the end you'll be stronger than always. we're friends, you & i. and we've seen what we're both going through. we need to pull each other up so that neither of us will fall.'
i think, sometimes all we need is someone to lean on. someone to talk to, who you know wouldn't judge you for the choices you've made. someone who doesnt turn to your face and say 'i told you so' but instead tells you that everythings gonna be alright. because we all need a little help sometimes, even when we feel like we dont.
oliver said true friends are those who are willing to bag a shot for you, even when they know that they'll eventually die. sounds kinda unrealistic, but on a simpler term, they are the ones who'd be there to do anything for you despite the outcome! sounds better? ok not.. cause everything i say will just sound so cliche! omg now i feel dumb! thats just like me saying something like.. 'friends forever' you know?
cause we all know there never is a forever, tho that kinda rhymed. but ya, we all know that there is never a forever, or an eternity. but some people see forever as something thats extremely important. or is there not such a thing as extremely too cause arent we talking about extremes here?
ohk i know i dont make sense, but i think im fine now cause i feel like my usual self but i dont know whats going on im still waiting for my food sernzhi suppsoed to buy for me & right now i think its tiring cause im not talking in any punctuation. i think tomorrow will be a sunny day because i dont see any clouds in the sky. ohk not, i actually did see the weather forecast. am i speaking out of point? anyways, kp, i love. get some sleep, you should. good night. and i love dez cause she's always there for me, and im glad she's a happy camper now. ok. goodnight.
i spoke to the sky today.. it told me everything was gonna be alright.
it is so easy to see, dysfunction between you and me, we must free up these tired souls, before this sadness kills us both. i tried and tired to let you know, i love you but im letting go, this may not last but i dont know. built a wall around my heart, never let it fall apart. strangely, i secretly wish it will fall down when i sleep. we have not hit the ground but doesnt mean that we're not still falling. i want for mine to pick you up, but your still too reluctant to accept my help. what a shame, i hope you find somewhere to place the blame. but until then the facts remain. if you dont know, then you cant care. and i show up, but your not there. but im waiting, and you want to, but still afraid that i'll desert you. everyday, with every word whispered we get so far away. the distance between us makes it so hard to stay, and nothing lasts forever but be honest babe, it hurts but it may be the only way.
anger sadness & disappointment. emotions are more than words can explain. ever felt on the verge of exploding? when you reach the climax of disappointment it turns to sadness and ultimately to anger. i dont know how to say it but its like when you expect someone to be the best they can be, then they disappoint you so badly you just feel like ripping their throats out of place. ohk that sounded very violent. but seriously...? i hate disappointment. its like the mother of all depressing emotions. it leaves you empty and stuck cause you can't do shit about it.
im drying my eyes and i'm gonna be on my way. i cant stay. i wont. and when i leave this time, i assure you that its for good. so let me go and we'll both be fine.
haha YUP! this is what we actually do at work. 1 whole week of rubbish. yup i got 300+ for standing around taking pictures with my darlins. hahaha! ok whatever, im finally a free laddeee! im proud to say that i've done alot of work during this past week,(NOOOOTTTT!!!)heh, watched F4 rise of the silver surfer yesterday! jessica alba looks like fucken crap! thank god chris evans looked flawless. woo, he's hot beyond hot! (dez would say- HARCORE HOT) HAH! had steeeeeeeeemboat yesterday too, at jerm's place. everyone was present! from ji baby to kayyyyyyytee to dez to ah eh to orks to...... you get what i mean, everyone was there.. oh, everyone went to zouk on wednesday too, yeah after stinking work! im not gonna upload any pics, cause.. haha i dont know, maybe i hate you.
actually i've got nothing much to blog about, and all of a sudden i think blogging sounds lame. like.. 'hurhur, brb im blogging about all the shit that happened today.' orr.. 'im so depressed, im gonna blog about my depressed life so that everyone can read and pity my depressed self, maybe people will start donating money to me,*eyes enlarges* 0.0' i always thought a blog was suppsoed to be personal. i mean, its like a journal right? like what you do everyday, what you saw, what you smelt, how you wiped your ass, you know? that kinda stuff, - personal! you wouldnt want some random person reading your blog to secretly know how you feel, how you really go about your day, how you look like semi naked or how you pick large boogers from your nose right? its no privacy here honestly, the WWW can read how you secretly like a boy who does not return the same feelings, they know how you hide in the corner and cry and beat yourself up assuming the world hates you, technically, being a loser.
i think blogging leads to unwanted attention, imagine someone you not know at all knows the world about you, stalks you, hunts you, stabs you and spill your guts out. UHHH!! too much one tree hill there. but seriously, im 'blogging' now and i feel so stupid cause im cursing at how blogging works.
i think im very contradicting sometimes, like how i dont like shitting in public places but do it anyways. like how i think popcorn smells like stinking fart but sometimes eat it anyways. & i see everyone switching to LJ recently. i guess it doesnt sound so retarded right? and since im 'blogging' now, suddenly i dont think im cool anymore, maybe i should switch to LJ too, then i wouldnt be 'blogging', i'd be 'livejournaling', tho that sounds more than half as retarded as 'blogging', but at least i'd be cool.
beeeen daaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn tired. im offically a non-working-lady in 3 days! yay. $$ i need you. my hands damn itchy to go online shopping alright! but im low on the beans so i cant. since im gonna get my pay soon, i can start checking out the merchandise already dontcha think? haha, aiya whatever, its just a reason for me to alright! back to thee old habits. i cant wait till wednesday seriously. i think a wednesday for us is officially party day. hahah.. or rather, ZOUK day. haha fricking hell, i miss soccer, alot. i wanna hug it. supposed to have a friendly with jj today but hell, work screwed my perfect opportunity to play. grrr. oh oh, yesterday was one of thee most exciting nights of my life. i never felt such huge adreneline rushes before. and before you start thinking dirty,curse you. haha, me and dez caught a shoplifter! woohoo! and we followed her/him(BUNG LA OHK) all the way to tangs to watch her get caught. apparently she was on a major shopping-for-free-day. like 1000 over dollars worth of stolen goods? haha nice one. i wish i could do that. and she was 23 eh, old + stupid. WHO THE HELL WANNA STEAL FROM GIORDANO? THE USUAL PRICE ALREADY LIKE 90% DISCOUNT LEH! but maybe she really not money? anyways.i was thinking, we did help isetan retrieve 1000 dollars worth of goods, we should get some kinda increment/reward for it right? i guess all we get is a pat on the back and a job well done *thumbs up cum stupid looking face* curse you isetan!
sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.
sometimes, its not being more careful with a chemistry, its about being careful with your heart. but you know, if your always looking for reasons not to be with somebody, well you'll always find them. and i guess at some point we all should just let go and give your heart what it deserves.
the heart has reasons that reason cannot know
someday we'll know if love can move a mountain.
its saturday, its not raining, i have econs test on monday, and im pigging out on my sofa. GG man! havent studied shit. haha im suppsoed to blog for LMS, and i havent done it too. haha. great! i havent done ANYTHING! haha.
anywayyyy. wednesday we were suppsoed to go to zouk. it was perfect timing cause thursday was a holiday, but well, the place wasnt packed at all, like a few kezillion people only, not many. we didnt manage to weave our way through the may dozen people so we left to dxo, CAUSE IM NOT 18 YET TO GET IN MOS GAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. till august ): boohoo. dxo sucked balls. shit music+shit crowd+shit band+shit mood+shit+shitty+shit shit shit. ok you get my point. we didnt go in either. 18 bucks for shit music+shit crowd............................etc.. wahseh! i rather use that money to wipe my backside la. alright alright, overall, it was a pretty shitty day. but i guess it beats sitting down staring into each others nostrils thinking of somewhere to go.
i watched shrek yesterday, and i think it was rather good leh, tho some other people think otherwise! i think i spend alota $$$ you know. im all alone at home! though that has no connection, i just felt like saying it. ohhhh, OTH episode 19 is OUTTTTTTT! can you people please go catch it. i havent watched it tho, cause bit torrent is being a bitch and taking forever to download, but i read the recap, HAHA, ohk so what? i like knowing what happens in the end before i watch something! hahaha LUCAS SHOT DAN! DAMN! ohk, if you dont like spoilers den my bad. although i meant to do that intentionally. HAHA. ohk i didnt mean to, really.
we wont need any wings to fly.
no one ever taught us how to deal with this feeling. this feeling of insecurity. this feeling of being so unsure. they say, our histories always comes back to haunt us. well, i think.. other peoples histories haunts us more.
like the feeling of being afraid with someone because your unsure of whether the same thing might happen again. or like the trust that was once there can never ever be because you dont know how to bring yourself to forgive and to forget. i know, you might say we all have to let go of the grude someday, but what if that something was almost too impossible to forgive? like what if someone cheated on you? and you feel so disgusted and so betrayed and that everytime when you have that slightest thought of forgiveness you rethink and tell yourself, no i shouldnt, no, i shouldnt have to be in that situation again, cause if i step into quicksand again i might never be able to pick myself out. im sure you know very well, once bitten twice shy.
it might be unfair to everyone else out there, it might be unfair because they dont get any second chances, but honestly, im sick of second chances. im tired of people who think they deserve a second chance all the time. once is already too much to handle dont you think? nobody wants something thats broken. nobody wants a broken heart twice in a lifetime. shit happens, yeah. but if you could prevent that something from happening, would you?
i wanted to see, something thats different, something you said would change in me. wanted to be anything different, everything you would change in me.